Love Potion
by Persistence
Summary: Ichigo has a crush on Byakuya, but he never notices him so he goes to Urahara for help and things go terribly wrong. Yaoi! Byakuya/Ichigo
1. Cookies for Byakuya

I was listening to some old songs, one which inspired this fic: Love Potion Number 9, and this little plot was born. So much for my no new fics until others are finished rule -_-

Special thanks to super-fast beta-reader **Dream7**!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this fic nor am I making a profit off of this.

As they walked down the hall of the sixth division, Renji was enthusiastically telling Ichigo a story about something that had happened the other day between him and Shūhei, but Ichigo wasn't really paying attention. In truth, he didn't need to be there and really should have been at home doing his homework and patrolling for hollows. His friends were still there, though, and so was Rukia, so he figured they could handle things without him for a short while.

"Are you listening to me?" Renji asked, noticing that Ichigo's mind seemed to be elsewhere. The redhead smirked and nudged his friend to get his attention. "You're only here to see my captain, aren't you?" he asked, and had his suspicion confirmed when a blush spread across Ichigo's face.

It was no secret that Ichigo had had a crush on Captain Kuchiki since their fight. The graceful way the man moved, the way he held himself, the beauty that surrounded him; the list could go on. He had spent nights questioning Rukia about her brother until she finally figured out that Ichigo had a crush, which eventually led to her telling Renji.

"So what if I am?" Ichigo growled, coming to a stop.

"I just don't want you to get your hopes up," Renji said with a sigh. He felt bad for his friend. Ichigo's crush seemed to be pretty serious, but his feelings were not returned. Byakuya often looked down on Ichigo, calling him "boy" or bringing up the fact that he wasn't a real shinigami. All those demeaning remarks would have driven Renji off, but his friend was too stubborn for his own good.

"Whatever," Ichigo muttered as Renji walked into the Sixth Division office to see his captain sitting behind the desk. They waited awkwardly for Byakuya to acknowledge them, but even after a few minutes had passed the captain kept working on his paperwork. Renji finally coughed, and it felt like the entire room froze as Byakuya finally looked up at them.

"What do you want?" he asked sternly, and for a moment both of them forgot to breath. The black-haired shinigami set his pen down and stared at them with a demeanor as cold as stone.

"I asked Renji if-" Ichigo started, but the older man cut him off.

"What are you doing here? Your place is in Karakura Town, not here."

Renji looked over at his friend in concern. He could almost see Ichigo's heart breaking, but he held his tongue.

"I'll see you around," Ichigo muttered, feeling like his crush had rejected him before he could even confess his feelings. He gave Renji a single glace before stepping out of the room and walking down the hallway. He felt a pain deep in his chest as he looked back at the door once more.

He'd never had problems getting along with anyone who personally knew him. In fact, it was usually other people who came on to him rather than the other way around. Byakuya was one of the only people who still looked down on him. Heck, he probably had a better chance of getting along with Captain Kurotsuchi. He knew he should just forget about his feelings for the other man; he tried to purge them from his mind every night before he went to bed. However, he always spent those nights tossing and turning, unable to get images of Byakuya out of his mind. He had never had a crush before so this was all new, and to be rejected so quickly hurt more than being stabbed by his enemies.

Ichigo sighed as he exited the portal into Urahara's shop and saw the hat-and-clogged man relaxing in his usually spot with his fan covering half of his face. The teen turned his head to avoid the shopkeeper's gaze and attempted to walk towards the exit without attracting attention.

"You looked troubled, Kurosaki-san," Urahara said playfully. He stood up and lowered his fan to reveal his smirking face, which only annoyed Ichigo more.

"It's nothing," Ichigo replied sorrowfully, and was about to leave when he felt a tug on the back of his shirt. He turned to find Urahara leaning over him, and took a surprised step back.

"No one would believe that. Now come and tell me what's wrong with my student." Urahara pulled Ichigo into an empty room and sat him down. The teen started feeling even more uncomfortable when Urahara sat down next to him and watched him from under the brim of his hat. "Now tell me what's troubling you, and maybe I can fix it." He laughed. "Who am I kidding, I can fix anything."

_Full of himself as always,_ Ichigo thought to himself, but decided to tell his teacher about his problems after all. He needed some advice, and he couldn't tell his dad what was going on because he'd freak out, run to the poster of Ichigo's mother, and cry that their son was growing up. That and his father had no idea about Soul Society and Ichigo's involvement. "I have a crush on someone," Ichigo started – Urahara didn't need to know who – "and that person doesn't have the same feelings for me." Ichigo sighed and looked down, not wanting to see Urahara's reaction. He knew that if he saw the older man smirking he'd punch him so hard his hat would fly off.

"I am sorry to hear that, Kurosaki-san." Urahara leaned forward in thought. He didn't like seeing Ichigo so depressed, at least not unless he made him that way. It would be hard for the teen to start a relationship with anyone with so much going on in his life. He had to deal with school, his personal life, his shinigami life, and then there were all his enemies lurking around the corner. If there was a way he could help him out…

"Ah, I think I have the perfect thing for you." Urahara laughed, standing abruptly and dragging the vizard up with him. Ichigo looked at the man like he was insane … well, more insane than before.

"What do you mean?" Ichigo asked, though he was almost afraid to hear the answer. He knew that with Urahara he'd never get a straight answer, and the results would probably have a few side effects he wouldn't like. Heck, that was the reason he'd ended up with a hollow!

"Come, come," Urahara coaxed, dragging the teen into a back room filled with boxes and other merchandise for the shop. "Hm, now where did I put it?" He placed the fan against his chin and tapped it twice before wandering further into the room. He bent down to look at the bottom shelf, and Ichigo looked away in embarrassment. The older man winked at him; it seemed he'd been purposely trying to get Ichigo to look at his ass.

"Pervert," Ichigo muttered as Urahara stood back up with a small black bottle in his hand.

"Catch!" Urahara tossed the bottle to him and the teen caught it. "This, my dear student, is something I made up a few years ago when Tessai was having some love problems. It makes the person you desire fall in love with you," he explained, and covered his fan with his face.

"But I don't want to force him to love me," Ichigo replied, looking at the small bottle dubiously.

"Oh, no need to worry! It doesn't change the person's personality; it just focuses their attention on you more. All you need to do is add a strand of hair to the bottle and get the other person to drink it," Urahara told him, and Ichigo made a disgusted face. "Don't worry; the hair will dissolve in it, and before you can say anything: no, it's not acid!" Ichigo's closed his mouth; Urahara had answered his question before he could ask.

Ichigo looked down at the bottle, wondering how he'd get Byakuya to drink it when the man couldn't even stand being in the same room with him. "Can it be mixed with something? Like if I put it in a muffin or a rice ball?" he asked, and Urahara nodded.

"Yep; that'd work fine." Ichigo moved to leave again, but his teacher continued, "Oh, and that will be fifteen hours of work for the bottle!" He laughed as Ichigo turned back and glared at him. "Good luck, Kurosaki-san."

"Whatever," Ichigo growled. He swore, if this didn't work the bottle was going up Urahara's ass!

Later

Ichigo knew exactly who to go to for help with cooking. Uryu was an expert in cooking, sewing, and pretty much everything feminine. Ichigo knew he could count on his friend to help him, especially considering how Uryu owed him for saving his life God knew how many times. But unfortunately, Uryu was out of town with his father, and that left only one other option…

"I'm so happy you came to me for help with cooking, Kurosaki-kun!" Orihime cheered as they stood in the kitchen of her apartment. He had thought about asking Yuzu to help him, but that could lead to disaster. He wouldn't know how to explain the secret ingredient he was adding, and he knew his sisters would want to have a cookie after they were finished. On top of that, their father always had to sample any treats Yuzu made, and that just couldn't end well!

"Yeah, thanks Orihime," he said, giving her a small smile as she checked on the cookies once more. He just hoped they didn't turn out as bad as most everything else she made. He could just imagine Byakuya trying a cookie and immediately spitting it out.

"It's so nice of you to make cookies for the people in Soul Society, but I don't think there'll be enough. We might need to make some more!" Orihime worried as she looked at the oven. They were only baking sixteen cookies, and that wouldn't be enough.

"It's only for a few people there. I thought they'd like it since they've been so busy preparing for the war and everything," Ichigo said awkwardly, but she bought his story and that was all that mattered.

"Oh, it looks like they're done!" Orihime said as she put on an oven mitt and took out the pan of freshly baked cookies. Luckily, the potion had been clear and hadn't turned them a suspicious color.

Ichigo stood back as she placed the cookies onto a tray. He hoped this worked; his emotions had been driving him nuts every single night. He didn't care whether or not Byakuya fell in love with him (he hoped he would, but only if it were by his own choice); he just wanted the man to defrost a little and acknowledge his feelings. Now was as good a time as any to try it out, but if this didn't work a certain perverted shopkeeper was getting his ass kicked!

"Thanks again, Orihime," Ichigo said, taking the tray of cookies after she'd wrapped them up. She smiled brightly at him with a small blush on her cheeks.

"It's no problem; we should do it again sometime!" Orihime said, though her suggestion went mostly ignored as he left her apartment. She sighed happily as she went back to the kitchen to clean up. She hummed as she put all the dirty dishes in the sink and threw away the dirty napkins, then walked over to her refrigerator and opened it to reveal a large bowl. Unbeknownst to Ichigo (who had needed to run off to kill a hollow for a few minutes while she was cooking), there was plenty of dough left with which to make more cookies. Perhaps she'd make some more and give them to her friends. After all, if Kurosaki-kun was spreading joy in Soul Society, maybe she ought to do the same around Karakura Town.

Ichigo gave the cookies to Renji since no one would question a lieutenant moving in and out of his division. Of course his friend gave him a look that read "you're pathetic," but he ignored it. Rukia found out, but to his surprise she thought it was a wonderful idea. However, neither of them knew about the potion Urahara had given him, and only thought it was a regular plate of cookies.

Byakuya was walking towards his office, but stopped when he spotted his lieutenant and saw what he had in his hands. Renji suddenly felt nervous about giving Byakuya a plate of cookies, but all he had to say was that it was a gift from someone. There was no need for him to tell his captain who they were from, especially since Byakuya would just toss them in the trash if he found out they were from Ichigo.

"What is that?" Byakuya asked, and Renji gulped.

"Uh, I was told to give these to you as a gift," The redhead replied nervously. Byakuya looked down at the cookies under the clear wrapping, but his face remained emotionless.

"Give them away; I don't want them," Byakuya stated, and walked into his office. Renji frowned down at the plate in his hand. Well, maybe he could give them to someone else. He sighed as he unwrapped the plastic and bit into a cookie. It tasted a little strange, but it wasn't half bad.

A/N: This is a Byakuya/Ichigo fic, and other ppl maybe developing for some feelings for Ichigo, but they are completely one-sided because Ichigo will have feelings for only one person in this fic: Byakuya.

Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed it, and please review!


	2. Renji

Thanks so much everyone that reviewed the last chapter! You guys are awesome!

Thanks so much to **Dream7** for beta readering!

The captains of the Gotei 13 stood at attention as Captain Yamamoto gave them orders concerning the upcoming war. With the Hogyoku in Aizen's hands there was no telling how many arrancar they'd be facing, so they needed to prepare their forces as thoroughly as possible. It didn't help that since Aizen had massacred Central 46, the head captain had been burdened with making all the decisions in Soul Society.

Byakuya stood with his eyes closed, carefully absorbing Captain Yamamoto's instructions. Captain Hitsugaya, on the other hand, was getting terribly bored, and was happy when the head captain finally began to wrap up the meeting.

"Are there any other matters that need to be addressed?" Captain Yamamoto asked the group. When no one spoke up after a moment, Captain Ukitake stepped forward with some minor news.

"Actually, I was planning on going to the real world for a few days to visit Kurosaki-kun and bring him some presents," the white haired captain said cheerfully. Captain Hitsugaya gave a small smirk at that; at least he wasn't the only one being treated like a child. Maybe this would make the ryoka show him some respect. At least he wouldn't have to worry about returning to his office and finding a basket of candy and treats on his desk. Captain Ukitake had good intentions, but it was all his fault that he'd developed a hatred for sugar.

"Perhaps we could go together; I've been meaning to visit him for a while," Captain Kyōraku added, causing his friend to frown.

"Well, I was planning on spending some quality time with him," Captain Ukitake said in a low voice, trying to give his friend a hint. Byakuya caught the message as well, and opened his eyes to peer sideways at the man. Since when did he have feelings for Ichigo?

"Ah, but I was planning to take him out, get a few drinks, see where we go from there," Shunsui replied casually, not caring that everyone in the room was staring at them now ... including a pissed off Kenpachi.

"Like hell you are; he's mine!" Kenpachi yelled and placed a hand on his zanpakutou, daring any of them to challenge him. He didn't care that they were senior captains and had attained Bankai; he'd take them down if they came between him and Ichigo!

Byakuya watched the exchange with confusion. Kenpachi's barbaric attitude didn't surprise him, but the behavior of the other two captains did. Sure, Shunsui was a bit of a pervert, and Captain Ukitake always found a target and spoiled him rotten, but why Ichigo all of the sudden? What was going on?

"I don't see why any of you care about that runt; it's sickening. Now Yoruichi-sama is something to look at." Soi Fon sighed at the thought of her beloved, but unfortunately this seemed to anger the eleventh division captain.

"No one asked for your opinion, and if ya insult Ichigo again I'll chop ya in half!" Kenpachi warned, and watched as the woman narrowed her eyes. The two glared at each other heatedly, each ready to take the other down if it wasn't for Captain Yamamoto slamming his cane down to interrupt them.

"Enough. Your requests to go to the real world have been denied. If Kurosaki Ichigo decides to come here of his free will that is one thing, but we must focus on the war ahead," Captain Yamamoto declared, bringing everyone's attention back to the matter at hand.

Byakuya examined the sorrowful expression on both men's faces. It was too odd, and he wasn't the only one to notice. Captain Hitsugaya had caught on how the three were fighting over Ichigo, and obviously found it strange. They had never spoken of Ichigo that way before now. Something was definitely going on.

**Karakura Town**

Ichigo had decided to walk home from school with Orihime and Chad since the weather was sunny and not too cold. Orihime chatted with Chad about what she and Ichigo had done the day before and how fun it was making cookies. Chad only nodded or made small noises to acknowledge that he was listening.

"They turned out pretty good; I was afraid I was going to burn them and they would turn all charcoally and people's stomachs would rot from the inside out, but they didn't! I wanted to try one, but spreading joy around is so much more fun!" Orihime enthused, and Chad nodded in agreement.

Ichigo wasn't really paying attention; instead, he was wondering what Byakuya's reaction would be. Had he accepted the cookies and eaten one? Had he thrown Renji out of his office and the cookies out the window? Or maybe Byakuya had just given them the Kuchiki glare and they'd melted. Whatever had happened, he hoped that Renji would be back soon to tell him about it. He didn't know if he could stand going back to Soul Society and getting shunned by Byakuya again.

"I was thinking that since it was so nice that you made cookies for Soul Society, I decided to do the same and made cookies for people around town. I've been handing them out all day, but some people have been rejecting them. I guess they don't like cookies." Orihime shrugged cheerfully. She was in a good mood and nothing was going to tear that away. Besides, a few people had been really happy to get a cookie. Keigo had practically ripped his from her hand and swallowed it whole.

If Ichigo had been paying attention he would have heard something very alarming, but he was still caught in his contemplation of what Byakuya's reaction would be. He had never felt anything like this before. It wasn't just because of the noble's looks; there was so much more. The way he composed himself, his confidence in his abilities; the list could go on.

Ichigo paused at the crosswalk where they usually went their separate ways. "I'll see you guys tomorrow," he mumbled, waving distractedly and continuing on without a backwards glance. He distantly heard Orihime say 'bye' and got an 'mm' from Chad.

"Hey Chad, I still have some cookies left. Do you want one?" Orihime asked innocently, unaware of the trouble she was spreading. She pulled a ziplock bag out of her purse containing the four remaining cookies, and handed one to Chad.

"Thanks," Chad said, and took a bite out of the cookie. It wasn't great, but at least it tasted better than most of the other things Orihime's cooking usually resulted in.

Ichigo opened the gate and walked up the small path to his house. He kicked his shoes off before opening the door and stepping inside. He shut the door and paused for a moment to let his eyes wander the room. It was quiet. Too quiet. He narrowed his eyes and slowly crept forward until he could slide the kitchen door open, then quickly ducked as his father flew over him and down the hall.

"You're getting better; I am so proud!" Isshin Kurosaki said from the ground before springing back to his feet with a crazy grin on his face. After surviving sixteen years with the man he knew better than to turn his back on him unless he was unconscious, and even then he couldn't be trusted at times. Karin had learned that the hard way.

"Whatever; I'll be in my room," Ichigo growled as he made his way to the staircase. His heart pounded in his chest as he grew closer to his room, wondering if Renji had returned with news. He took a deep breath and finally opened the door, only to stop short with his mouth hanging open in shock.

Renji lay shirtless on his bed, and in a rare occurrence, had left his hair down so it flowed over his muscular body. He lounged on his side with his head resting on his hand as he smirked at his friend, or hopefully, soon-to-be-lover. The sight of the man spread across his bed half-naked would have been enough to give just about anyone a nosebleed, but for Ichigo it was just annoying after he got over his shock.

"What the hell are you doing?" Ichigo asked as he found a spare shirt and threw it at Renji, hitting the redhead in the face. Renji sat up and grabbed the shirt, but didn't put it on. He had forgotten that his friend could be dense at times, and occasionally needed some help.

"I thought I'd keep you company for a while," Renji replied, standing up and slowly walking towards Ichigo. "You have to be lonely defending this town by yourself."

Ichigo threw his book bag on his desk and dug through it to pull out his homework. Renji was acting weird. But then again, when didn't he act weird? "No; Rukia, Chad, Uryu, Orihime, and sometimes Urahara and Yoruichi help," Ichigo corrected him, and Renji sighed in frustration. He was never really good at pick up lines, and Ichigo was just making it harder. "What happened when you gave the cookies to Byakuya?" the teen asked his friend, looking up hopefully.

Renji saw this as the perfect opportunity to get closer to Ichigo, and placed his hands on the teen's shoulders as he crept closer. "I brought them to him, but he didn't want them," he said, and took in the dejected look on Ichigo's face as the teen turned his head away in despair. "Hey, it's alright," he said as he brought Ichigo in for a hug, inwardly smirking as the teen's cheek rested against his naked chest.

"I don't know what else to do. What is it about me that he doesn't like?" Ichigo wondered. He tried to pull away from Renji, but the older man wrapped his arms around him and kept him pressed to his body.

"Don't worry about him; he's always been stiff like that. You need someone who can appreciate you and take care of you," Renji whispered into Ichigo's ear, and the vizard suddenly felt very uncomfortable being in Renji's arms. He had never seen his friend hug anyone, not even Rukia!

Ichigo pulled away from Renji insistently until he got free of his arms, and was finally able to see the lust in his friend's eyes as Renji stalked closer to him once more. "Uh Renji, what did you do with the cookies?" he asked, though he was already pretty sure he knew where one of them had ended up.

Renji smirked as he placed his arms on Ichigo's shoulders and leaned close to the teen. "Oh, I took one and gave the rest to some friends and a few of the captains ... but that isn't important," he said as he threw Ichigo onto the bed. The young man had little time to recover before Renji straddled him. "The only thing that matters is you and me. I'll make you forget all about my captain," he whispered, but Ichigo kicked him off and Renji hit the floor with a thud.

"How about _no_!" Ichigo yelled. He rolled off the bed, but Renji recovered quickly and grabbed his feet. He fell to the floor with a shirtless Renji trying to get on top of him once more. Suddenly, a small pebble rolled by their heads. Renji stared at the pebble for a moment with a look of recognition before it popped, filling the room with smoke.

Ichigo coughed and grumbled in irritation when he felt Renji's body go limp on top of him. He pushed his friend off and waved his hand in front of his face to clear the air. When it finally cleared his closet door opened to reveal Rukia sitting there innocently.

"You were there the entire time and didn't stop him?" Ichigo growled at the petite woman, but she only smirked.

"I found it quite entertaining," she replied slyly, and Ichigo had to take a moment to reign in the urge to flip her off before looking back down at his friend.

"What did you do to him?" Ichigo asked, standing up and backing away slightly from Renji in case it wore off and his friend was back to wanting to get in his pants.

"Ah, it's a new invention Urahara showed me. It works against shinigami if they're not in a gigai and will render them unconscious for an hour. It is much safer than using a kido spell, though he said there are some side effects…" Rukia looked down at her red-haired friend thoughtfully.

"Whatever, can you just keep an eye on him so he doesn't get up?" Ichigo requested. Rukia looked up at him with confusion.

"What's wrong? You afraid of Renji?" Rukia grinned evilly at him. Ichigo narrowed his eyes at the small woman.

"I don't have time to explain right now, but he – and I'm pretty sure a few others – aren't themselves right now," Ichigo told her. Rukia frowned and hopped out of the closet. She performed a restriction kido on Renji to hold him in place while Ichigo left the room to grab his shinigami badge. He had left it downstairs in his coat pocket the day before since there hadn't been many hollow alerts, and with Rukia and Renji in town he hadn't needed to worry about it.

"Oh Yuzu, did you make this?" Isshin asked his daughter while holding something up. Ichigo ignored him as he passed by the kitchen, but suddenly froze when he got to the hallway.

"No, I passed by Orihime and she gave me one. If you want, you can have it," Yuzu told her father. Neither of them noticed the panicked expression that came over Ichigo's face when he saw his father about to bite into the cookie. He had never run so fast. Bolting into the kitchen, he jumped into the air and kicked his father in the stomach. Yuzu quickly backed away, figuring that this was going to turn into another one of their fights.

"You're definitely getting better," Isshin muttered from the ground, though he still held the cookie. Ichigo's eyes widened and he immediately jumped on his father to try and get the cookie away from him. He didn't want to imagine what might happen if his father ate it, especially after what had happened with Renji. The thought of his father shirtless and trying to act sexy was enough to make him want to vomit.

"Give it!" Ichigo growled, but Isshin refused to let go of the cookie.

"No!" he yelled back as he finally sat up and started wrestling his son for the cookie. Karin walked down the hallway and raised an eyebrow at her brother and father. She shook her head and hoped she was adopted somehow before walking away.

Ichigo finally kicked Isshin in the face hard enough that the older man fell back and accidentally dropped the cookie. Ichigo didn't waste any time and grabbed the cookie before his father could try to eat it again. "Hey!" Isshin shouted, and was about to grab his son's legs to trip him when Ichigo stuffed the cookie into his mouth and quickly ate it.

Isshin stared at Ichigo for a moment before his eyes began to water and he ran out of the room, most likely towards to the poster of his dead wife. Ichigo sighed in relief, and was continuing towards the closet to grab his shinigami badge when something equally disturbing happened.

**Ichigo**. The young man froze in surprise when he heard Zangetsu's voice, but shrugged it off. He needed to hurry and meet Rukia in his room before going to Urahara's to find a way to reverse the potion.

**Ichigo.** Zangetsu said again, but Ichigo continued ignoring him until he was halfway up the stairs.

_**Oh King, we'd like to talk to you.**_ Shirosaki's voice had an oddly seductive tone to it, and it had never sounded scarier. He had just made it to the top of the stairs when he felt himself being pulled into his inner world.

Ichigo opened his eyes and found himself staring at his zanpakutou and hollow who were on either side of him. "I thought you'd never come, King," Shirosaki purred, rubbing his face against Ichigo's neck.

"Oh god, no!"

Next Chapter: Orihime spreads more love.

Hope everyone enjoyed the chapter and please review!


	3. Chaos in the Sideways World

O_O dang! I didn't think so many people would like this story! *glomps everyone* I've been taking exams and essays for the past 2 weeks and it limited my writing time, and unfortunately tons of updates won't be coming until the end of May because I have a test that decides if I can take the last few classes I need and I have to have three teeth removed and it hurts!

Thank you to my lovely beta-reader **Dream7**!

* * *

"What the fuck!" Ichigo yelled, but he found himself ignored when Shirosaki began kissing his neck and Zangetsu's hands started wandering down his body. This was extremely wrong! Neither one of them had ever acted like this. Shirosaki was usually out to kill him and Zangetsu liked to lecture him to death.

His eyes widened when he realized the probable cause. It had never occurred to him that eating the treat of doom might affect his hollow and zanpakutou spirit. With a fierce kick he knocked Zangetsu away and punched Shirosaki in the face to free himself from their grasp.

Ichigo stood up as quickly as he could and took a step back. The lustful look on his hollow's face scared him more than the maniac grin he usually wore ever had. He glimpsed Zangetsu's black cloak out of the corner of his eye and shunpo'd away before he could get grabbed again.

"Snap out of it!" Ichigo yelled, but was caught by surprise when Shirosaki appeared in front of him and hugged him close to his body.

"You're our king; we're supposed to have affection for you," Shiro purred, holding Ichigo close while rubbing his hands down his king's back.

"Since when? All you do is try to kill me, and he always just lectures me!" Ichigo pointed out, and head butted his hollow when he felt the pale hands grab his ass.

"Ichigo," he heard Zangetsu say next him. He backed away from the older man. He desperately wanted to get out of his inner world and go find Urahara to kick his ass for giving him the potion.

"Get away!" Ichigo backed away from Zangetsu, but the older man continued to walk forward. His eyes were just as lustful as Shiro's behind the yellow sunglasses.

"I want to apologize for my behavior," Zangetsu stated, and Ichigo stopped for a moment to stare at him. Had his zanpakutou suddenly snapped out of the spell he'd been under? Whatever had happened, he'd have to take note of it and use it on Renji.

Zangetsu continued forward until he was standing in front of Ichigo with his head bowed. "I am sorry that after all this time I never taught you another technique to use in battle. I can teach you some other things…" Zangetsu ran his hands down Ichigo's arms and was about to lean forward when he was kicked from behind.

"He's mine!" Shirosaki yelled at Zangetsu, picking up his sword and moving in front of Ichigo. "I'm not sharing with you, ya old geezer!" he snarled at Zangetsu, but the sword in Shirosaki's hands disappeared and reappeared in the hand of his opponent.

"I have been training him longer than you, and we have had a bond since the first moment of his existence. You did not come until later," Zangetsu declared calmly, holding the sword in front of him as if daring Shirosaki to make a move.

"I'll have to make sure we get more alone time then," Shirosaki replied just as Ichigo felt himself being tugged back into the real world. Both hollow and zanpakutou saw the orange haired teen disappear, and Shirosaki growled in frustration. "This is your fault! I'm gonna take that pole ya sit on all day and shove it up your ass!" Shirosaki yelled as he raced at Zangetsu.

Ichigo opened his eyes with a sigh of relief and found Rukia's foot on his head again. He growled in frustration and pushed the short girl's foot off of his head. "I was wondering why you were sleeping in the hallway," she commented as he got to his feet.

"Do you have Renji tied up?" Ichigo asked her, and she nodded. "Okay, we're going to Urahara's." He walked back into his room and found Renji sleeping in the closet and Kon sitting on the bed. He walked over to the sleeping plushie and picked him up.

"Hey, I was trying to sleep!" Kon yelled and tried to claw at Ichigo's face, but Ichigo ignored the mod soul's protests and stuffed his fingers into Kon's mouth and dug around for the capsule. The mod soul made gagging noises until Ichigo found the pill and pulled it out of the stuffed animal's mouth.

Ichigo popped the pill into his mouth and entered his shinigami state while Kon fell back onto the bed and glared up at the teen. "Don't let anyone else in the house, and make sure he," Ichigo pointed to the sleeping Renji, "doesn't move from the closet!" He walked towards the window, ignoring Kon's protests.

"When did I start taking orders from him?" Kon glared at the window Ichigo had just exited and folded his arms over his chest. "I am a free spirit and do as I please." He turned his head away. If he wanted to go out and look for babes, he would do it when he wanted and not on the stupid orange haired vizard's terms. He looked out towards the window and was thinking of taking advantage of the time in Ichigo's body by hitting the town when he saw a bright light flash in the sky.

Across town, a light was heading for the ground. As soon as it hit, Captain Kenpachi appeared with his small lieutenant on his shoulder and began running down the street. "Which way?" he asked her, and Yachiru brought a finger to her lips and looked around.

"That way, Kenny!" Yachiru pointed to the left after a stop light, and Kenpachi grinned as he charged forward. He'd be the first to find Ichigo and make him his.

**Urahara's Shop**

Ichigo slammed open the door to Urahara's shop, ignoring the annoying red-haired kid who yelled at him and heading straight for the owner who was relaxing and fanning himself. "Ah, Kurosaki-kun, how are you this evening? I'm a bit surprised you're not busy." Urahara chuckled behind his fan until Ichigo grabbed him by the collar and glared at him fiercely.

"How do I get the potion to stop?" Ichigo demanded, his fingers clenching Urahara's shirt tightly. It cost him a great deal of effort to resist the urge to wipe that grin off the blond man's face.

"But I thought you were trying to get that special someone to love you. Is something wrong?" Urahara asked innocently, though he already knew what had been happening since Orihime had dropped off a plate of cookies earlier.

"He didn't eat the cookie the potion was mixed with, but a bunch of other people did!" Ichigo growled, trying to dispel thoughts of Renji, Shirosaki, and Zangetsu all lusting after him. His eyes narrowed when Urahara started laughing, and he had to smack the man on the side of the head to make him stop.

"Ow." Urahara held his head as Ichigo let him go, though the grin was still on his face. "You should have been more careful with the potion, Kurosaki-kun. As far as you know, who all has taken it?" he asked, sounding more serious this time.

"Renji and … I had to eat one to keep my father from eating one, and then my hollow and zanpakutou both tried to molest me," Ichigo revealed. He heard someone snickering behind him, and saw that it was Rukia. "It's not funny!" he growled at her.

"How did your father even get a cookie?" Rukia asked as she dried her tears, and Ichigo's face softened slightly in confusion.

"I don't know. Renji had them all, so I can't figure out how my family could have gotten any … unless..." Ichigo froze when he had a horrible thought. He had made them with Orihime. What if she'd kept some? "Damnit, I think Orihime has been passing them around town!" Ichigo shouted, grabbing his hair. That was the last thing he needed, for everyone in both town and Soul Society to start lusting after him. It wasn't fair; there was only one person in his heart, and that person didn't even care about him while a whole bunch of other people now wanted to get into his pants.

Urahara and Rukia started snickering again, and Ichigo had to resist the urge to beat them both down. "Tell me how to reverse it or I swear I will kick your ass!" Ichigo yelled at Urahara, who snapped his fan open again to hide his grin.

"There is one way to negate the potion's effects. It was designed to make a person fall head over heels for the person who had given it to them. They fall in love, but once they sleep together the potion wears off and the other person is free from the spell and left to decide whether they really want to be with the other or not," Urahara revealed, leaving Ichigo dumbstruck. So everyone who'd had the potion was trying to have sex with him? His face flushed at the thought, but he shook it off. This was worse than he'd thought. "I guess in your case, you'd have to sleep with the person who you desire the most in the world," he added, and Ichigo scowled.

"But he doesn't like me. In fact, he hates me," Ichigo grumbled. Rukia opened her mouth to say something, but hesitated and closed it again. She knew who he was talking about. It was obvious he liked her brother.

"Well good luck then Kurosaki-kun," Urahara laughed until Ichigo finally lost it and punched him.

"You piss me off," Ichigo grumbled. He could hear Zangetsu and Shirosaki fighting in his head, and it was beginning to give him a headache. With one last glare at the hat-and-clogged man, he left and walked down the hall towards the bathroom. Urahara held his nose and watched the teen leave. Perhaps if he'd been nicer he would have warned him, but he'd leave Ichigo to his fate and allow more scars to be inflicted on the vizard's young mind.

Ichigo fumed as he walked down the hallway towards the bathroom. Urahara always knew just what to do to piss him off. Not only had he given him the potion without warning him about what might happen, he'd laughed about it as if it were a joke. It was not funny that there were a bunch of horny men chasing after him, especially considering that he didn't even know who all had eaten the cookies!

He opened the door to the bathroom and stepped inside. He went over to the cabinet and was looking for some aspirin when he felt a hand on his arm and a head on his shoulder. "Let me help you with that, Ichigo," a voice purred into his ear. He turned around and his eyes widened when he came face to face with Yoruichi wearing nothing but a seductive smirk.

Meanwhile, Rukia sat with Urahara discussing the potion that Ichigo had baked into the cookies. It was rather amusing that a series of men were going to be chasing after him, but at the same time she knew how deeply Ichigo cared for her brother. She knew how cold her brother could be first hand, but after spending time with him during her recovery she'd learned more about him and why he was the way he was. She wanted to talk to Ichigo about it, but didn't want to violate her brother's trust by repeating what he'd told her in confidence.

"Is there a way to find out who's after him?" Rukia asked Urahara, taking a sip of tea. The shopkeeper simply smiled behind his fan.

"Well, the easiest way is probably to wait and see who makes a grab for him," Urahara sang, waving his fan.

"_Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh_!" The two heard someone screaming down the hallway and instantly knew it was Ichigo. Moments later, the teen emerged with a flushed and angry face and grabbed Rukia.

"We're leaving," Ichigo growled, pulling her away from her tea.

"What happened?" she asked, but his flush became even darker and he refused to answer.

Urahara snapped his fan shut and glanced at the door the two young shinigami had left through. He instantly knew what had happened. He knew he should have stopped Ichigo from going to the bathroom, but the kid was just so much fun to agitate.

"Aw, he left already?" Yoruichi said playfully as she emerged from the hallway wearing a robe. Urahara had told her of the potion Ichigo had taken to try to get the person he loved to love him back, and she just hadn't been able to resist the temptation to tease him once more. He was just too much fun, just like Byakuya when he was younger.

"Looks like it." Urahara grinned as Yoruichi sat down next to him and poured herself a cup of tea. "Orihime stopped by with a plate of cookies. I'm sure you know what they contain," he told her, and Yoruichi nodded as she leaned back.

"We should get rid of them. Ichigo is going to be stressed out enough with everyone chasing after him." Yoruichi snickered at the thought of the teen running down the street with a bunch of men chasing after him. She made a mental note to spy on him and take pictures for blackmail.

"Yes, technically we should, but where is the fun in that?" Urahara grinned and snapped his fan shut. "I think I know just the place to drop the cookies off."

Outside, Ichigo kept pulling Rukia until they were a good distance away from Urahara's shop. "Can you tell me what happened?" Rukia asked, but received no response beyond a low growl. She had a few ideas about what might have happened since he only got this flushed when someone tried to come on to him. "Who tried to molest you this time?" she asked him with a sigh, and Ichigo turned around and glared at her.

"Shut up! That is not what happened!" he yelled defensively. Rukia smirked with the knowledge that he was hiding something. Someone did try to come onto him.

"Very well. If you don't want to talk about it now, just remember that I'm here when you're ready." She could have sworn she heard him mutter 'bitch' under his breath, but she ignored it. She'd have to find Orihime and see if she could help the other girl 'spread the 'love.'

"Damnit, what the hell am I going to do? Am I supposed to knock out every person who tries to come on to me?" Ichigo whined, putting his hands behind his head and looking down miserably. He'd known it was a bad idea to trust Urahara, but Byakuya's rejection had stung and still stung. Now his fate mostly depended on Byakuya, who despised him.

"Ah, Kurosaki-san!" the two young shinigami heard behind them. They turned and saw Captain Ukitake approaching them with a large basket full of sweets and a pleasant smile across his face. "Just the person I was looking for!"

Rukia didn't know what to think. Sure, she didn't want to see Ichigo get ravaged (even if it was funny), but she couldn't let anything bad happen to her captain.

**Las Noches**

"Could you repeat that?" Aizen asked Ulquiorra. If the Espada had allowed an expression to cover his stoic face, it would have been one of embarrassment. He didn't want to have to repeat himself in front of all the other arrancar. He thought he heard Grimmjow snickering to his left. Worthless trash.

"A garganta opened and a plate of cookies appeared," Ulquiorra repeated. He could hear Nnoitra and Grimmjow laughing their weakling asses off.

"Perhaps this is their way of saying they give up," Gin suggested to Aizen. Aizen was having a hard time processing what he'd just heard. He'd fully expected a spy to sneak in or an army of shinigami to raid the sands of Hueco Mundo. He had not expected a plate of cookies.

"Grimmjow, please step forward," Aizen ordered. The snickering sixth espada groaned in irritation as he left his position and stood beside Ulquiorra with his hands in his pockets. "Take a cookie," he commanded. Grimmjow stared at the plate of cookies lying before the throne. It was a good test; if Grimmjow lived there was nothing wrong with the cookies and they could consider the possibility that Soul Society was surrendering; if not, Aizen was rid of an annoyance.

Grimmjow knew what his lord had in mind and mentally debated which was worse: death by cookie or by Aizen. Both were options he'd rather avoid, but when he felt his lord's reiatsu start to rise he grumbled and picked up a cookie. He hoped it wouldn't kill him or turn him into anything that would insult his image. He glared up at the lord of Hueco Mundo and wished he could flip him off without risking a swift and painful death. He took a bite out of the cookie and chewed it slowly as arrancar all around the room gazed upon him to see whether he would live or die.

Grimmjow swallowed and grimaced slightly in disgust. He'd had better food, but at least he was still breathing. "It appears they have no effect," Ulquiorra commented to his lord.

Aizen smiled down upon the group. "Very well then, you may all take one," he commanded. Gin instantly shunpo'd down before the throne and grabbed three cookies before returning to Aizen's side.

"Thought ya might like one since there weren't that many," Gin said as he handed Aizen a cookie. He offered one to Tousen, but the blind man refused. He said there was no honor in taking a cookie and headed off to train Wonderweiss. "His loss." Gin shrugged and bit into the cookie, as did several other arrancar and the lord of Hueco Mundo.

* * *

I don't really have an order of who comes after Ichigo next, I'm pretty much drawing randomly (except Kenpachi, he's gonna be lost for a little bit XD). If anyone has any requests of who they want to come next, more than welcome, though those from the Soul Society are limited since I think 8 cookies were taken there (Renji, Kenpachi, Shunsui, and Ukitake had one so 4 left) and I've added in those from Las Noches and Ichigo's school and probably some random people on the streets thanks to Orihime.

Hope ya enjoyed the chapter!!!


	4. Chasing the Strawberry

I'll hand out tomatos for you all to throw at me for updating so late! Though I've been so stressed, I've barely had time for fanfiction. I've been having to find a new apartment (living with my parents at the moment and I hate it!) and my job, well I'm about to lose my sanity from that place -_- I'm going to try and update this one as much as possible (especially from the HUGE response I got from the last chapter! You guys so are awesome!)

Also big thanks to **Dream7** and **Black Sun Upon An Icy Sky** for betaing this chapter!

A gust of wind swept through the streets as Captain Kenpachi Zaraki ran as fast as he could with his young lieutenant clinging to his shoulder. He would be the first to find Ichigo! And if someone else did manage to find him before he did, he would castrate the son of a bitch that dared to lay a hand on his Ichigo! The only problem was locating his strawberry.

"Which way?" Kenpachi growled, stopping at a crosswalk that went many different directions. Yachiru looked down each path and placed a finger to her chin in thought. Suddenly, she spotted a giant air balloon in the sky to the north. Yachiru smiled.

"That way, Kenny!" Yachiru pointed, and immediately clung to Kenpachi once more as he took off without a thought. If only they had gone south they would have found that Ichigo was but two blocks away. However, the young teen already had his hands full dealing with the good-natured white-haired captain of the thirteenth squad.

Ichigo stared at the smiling, white-haired captain who was holding a basket of candy. He groaned at the thought of another pursuer, but with Captain Ukitake, it was different. He was used to smacking Renji around because they were friends, and because sometimes he could be an idiot and deserved it. However, he had a lot of respect for Captain Ukitake and didn't want to hurt the man … of course, he was not going to sit by and allow the man to have his way with him either!

"Captain Ukitake, what are you doing here?" Rukia asked in surprise. She suddenly didn't find the cookie incident so funny anymore. She made a mental note to hurt Renji when she saw him next for bringing the cookies to the Soul Society and allowing her captain to have one.

"I thought I'd visit and see how things are going." Ukitake smiled, mainly at Ichigo who couldn't tell whether it was a warm friendly smile or an 'I want you in my bed' smile. "It has been a while since I've visited this town, and I wanted to see how Kurosaki-san is doing. It must be hard having to watch the town with hollows and now the arrancar invading. I thought I would lend my assistance and spend some quality time with you," he said, speaking directly to Ichigo as if Rukia wasn't there.

"Uh, sir, Renji and I are here to help him, along with several others. Besides, he is very busy…" Rukia tried, but most of her comments went ignored. She looked from her captain to Ichigo and back again.

"Besides, what's his face is watching the city, the guy with the afro," Ichigo added. He tried to think of the shinigami's name, but couldn't remember it. He had only run into him a few times, and the man had spent most of those encounters running away.

"Captain Ukitake, will you excuse me for a moment?" Rukia requested, but didn't wait for her captain's answer before she dragged Ichigo behind a tree. They both looked back at Captain Ukitake. He smiled and waved at Ichigo, and they turned back towards each other.

"What the hell did you do!" Rukia yelled, kicking him in the shin and shooting him a glare.

"Ow! Damnit, what is your problem?" Ichigo growled, rubbing his injured leg.

"This is all your fault! You just had to go to Urahara and make those cookies, and now my captain is making googly eyes at you!" Rukia shouted at him. Ichigo narrowed his eyes at the midget, trying to resist the urge to kick her in the back.

"Just minutes ago you were laughing! Not so funny now, is it?" Ichigo shouted at her. He peeked over at Captain Ukitake, who was smiling sweetly at him and holding a chocolate bunny he had dug out of the candy basket.

Rukia looked over at her captain and then back at Ichigo. There was no way she was going to allow him to break her captain's heart. "Ok, you are going to take him on a date and make it the best night of his life," she instructed.

"What! No!" Ichigo yelled back at her. He tried to use his height to intimidate her, though it had never worked before.

"Yes you … oh no," Rukia muttered. Before Ichigo could ask her what she was talking about, he felt someone sling an arm around his shoulders. The smell of alcohol filled the air as Shunsui Kyōraku pulled Ichigo close.

"Ah, Kurosaki-kun, I was wondering why you don't come to Soul Society more often. We could hang out and find out how high your alcohol tolerance is," Kyōraku sang. Ichigo held his breath to avoid breathing in the fumes, though there was nothing he could do to stop his eyes from watering. It was early but the man already had a bottle of sake in his other hand.

"Shunsui, I am here to see Ichigo," Captain Ukitake interrupted his old friend who was getting a little too close to the boy he wished to know more about.

"I figured we could hang out and then after, if he still wants to, he can go with you," Shunsui replied, letting go of Ichigo and taking a swig of sake.

Rukia's eyes went back and forth between the two captains. Her own looked hurt while the other looked like he didn't have a care in the world. She didn't like this situation at all. She knew that neither would draw his sword on the other, but if her captain got agitated enough there was still the danger that he would go into a coughing fit.

"If you want, you can come and watch," Shunsui suggested to Ukitake's annoyance.

"No, Kurosaki-san and I will-" Captain Ukitake raised his voice slightly before he began to cough. Ichigo looked at the white-haired captain with concern, but as soon as he saw Rukia race to his side he knew he would be all right. For now, he wanted to get away before Shunsui tried to drag him out drinking and do who knows what with him after!

**6th** **Division**

Byakuya Kuchiki sat in his office going over the last of his paper work that would be due within the next week. His lieutenant usually forgot about it, so it fell to him to make sure it was all turned in on time. Speaking of the redhead, he hadn't seen him since he'd attempted to deliver that plate of cookies.

Byakuya leaned back in his seat, rolling his eyes at the thought. Everyone knew that he didn't like sweets and was very strict with his diet. His cooks prepared only the highest quality meals, and he was not going to eat a cookie that looked slightly burned. It was an insult.

He knew, of course, who had attempted to give him the cookies, and that was another reason why he had rejected them. Kurosaki had not been very subtle about his feelings; anyone could have figured out that the boy had a crush on him just by all the random visits to his office. However, that was all it was ever going to be: a crush. Kurosaki was only a teenager and didn't know what he wanted, and Byakuya saw no need to humor the boy. They were complete opposites. He was born to high society, behaved appropriately at all times, and obeyed the rules that were laid down for him. Kurosaki was only known throughout Seireitei because he had broken in and violated every rule the Shinigami had been following for decades. It would never work.

He sighed as he looked at the stack of paperwork. How long had he been working on it? He couldn't remember, but contemplations had been a nice distraction. He disliked Kurosaki with every fiber of his being, and yet … the boy interested him. He hated to admit it, but Kurosaki reminded him of himself when he was younger. The temper, the rash behaviour, and the dedication to his loved ones that hadn't returned to him until Ichigo had forced him to save Rukia from Ichimaru... However, they couldn't and wouldn't work so it was better to focus on the boy's negative traits. He would drive him away every chance he got and by any means.

A knock at his door caused him to glance over at it before it finally opened. The short captain from the tenth division stepped in with frustration written all over his face. It was rare for the white-haired captain to come to him since the two had never conversed, and he wondered what had given Hitsugaya the courage to enter his division.

"I need to speak with you about what's been happening since it seems that no one else will listen to reason," Hitsugaya stated, standing before Byakuya's desk. The older man remained quiet and waited for the boy to continue. "It concerns Kurosaki Ichigo and the meeting we recently had. I've never seen the others so interested in him before, and something is definitely not right. I went to confront Captains Ukitake and Kyōraku, but according to their lieutenants, both have left for the real world. The same goes for Captain Kenpachi. I confronted Captain Soi Fon, but she wants nothing to do with Kurosaki and neither does the twelfth division captain. I wanted to ask you your opinion and to see if you knew anything about what is going on," he requested.

Byakuya shut his eyes, not allowing emotion to form on his face. So, apparently the other captains had grown interested in Kurosaki. He felt a sharp twinge of irritation rip through his chest, but pushed it away. It was nothing. Why should he feel angry at the other captains? They could do whatever they wished, and if they wanted to go after that boy … he felt it again. Except it wasn't irritation; it was more like … jealousy? That was impossible. He didn't have time for such a petty emotion. However, the feeling refused to go away. He opened his eyes slightly and realized that Hitsugaya was still waiting for an answer.

"What the other captains do is their business. I do not care if they wish to chase after Kurosaki," Byakuya stated. He went back to his paperwork, ignoring the discouraged look on Hitsugaya's face. He was a noble after all, and it would be improper to get riled up over something so trivial.

Even if he wanted to go to Karakura Town and take Ichigo away, he wouldn't allow himself to be reduced to that kind of behavior.

**Las Noches**

The ten espada were sitting in the meeting room with the long white table in front of them. Each had a cup of tea that remained untouched. At the very end of the table sat the lord of Hueco Mundo with a cup of tea in his hand. At the entrance the other two traitors, Gin and Tousen, stood guard to make sure no one dared to leave before lord Aizen was done speaking.

"My dear espada, I have decided to change plans slightly. I still desire to destroy Karakura Town to make the King's Key and enter heaven, but before that, I need a queen. I have already decided who would make the perfect mate, and that is Ichigo Kurosaki," Aizen revealed, and ignored the sudden death glares that came from a few of his arrancar. Behind him, Gin opened his eyes to reveal that they were filled with jealousy. However, no one dared to speak against Aizen. No one wanted to risk being crushed by his reiatsu or getting a long lecture on justice from Tousen before he cut their limbs off.

"I'll get the brat," Grimmjow spoke up, resisting the urge to lick his lips. To hell with Aizen; he would grab the shinigami brat and claim him as his own.

"Please, the last time you two met he gave you that scar. I'll go. I'm higher up than you, after all." Nnoitra grinned, even when Grimmjow shot him the finger.

"I can track him and bring him here without lifting a finger," Szayel spoke up, but was ignored by most of the room, especially when Baraggan slammed his fist into the table.

"I will send my fraccion to get him, but when I retrieve him he will be mine!" the old man stated, but like Szayel, his comment went ignored. Everyone was used to the old fart's territorial issues and knew that he couldn't do anything, especially with Aizen in the room.

"I've already been there so I will be able to find him more easily than you," Grimmjow growled at Nnoitra who finally stood up.

"You can't even find your way out of the litter box," Nnoitra shot back. Unfortunately, that was crossing the line. Everyone in the room knew not to make any cat jokes around Grimmjow. The Sexta espada had had enough, and leapt over the table to beat the shit out of Nnoitra.

"Aizen-sama, perhaps I should go. I will bring Kurosaki back unharmed," Ulquiorra spoke up to bring an end to the fighting. Lord Aizen shouldn't have to deal with such pitiful trash.

"Yes, I will send you to retrieve him. As for the rest of you, you will not touch a hair on my future queen's head unless you wish for death," Aizen stated, though many of the espada took it as more of a challenge than a threat. Just because Aizen had made a claim on Kurosaki didn't mean they would sit by and let Aizen do whatever he wanted. Even Gin was feeling up to the challenge of making Kurosaki his.

"That is all for today," Aizen said dismissively. The espada began to leave, many grumbling and shooting glares at Aizen as they left. Nnoitra and Grimmjow eyed one another, but didn't say anything. The room was soon completely empty with the exception of one sleeping espada.

Stark yawned as he opened his eyes to find the meeting room completely empty. He had slept through another meeting, but it probably was nothing important anyways. He got up from his seat and wandered down the hall to his room to go back to bed and have more delightful dreams of the orange-haired shinigami that Aizen had been watching for a while.

**Kurosaki Residence**

Karin yawned. She was sprawled out in front of the TV while Yuzu was busy in the kitchen. Their father was in the clinic taking care of a woman who claimed she had gotten food poisoning from a cookie. She flipped through the channels boredly, but nothing on.

Ring Ring

She groaned when the doorbell rang. She glanced over at Yuzu, but her sister was busy making what looked to be a cake for dessert that night. She doubted her father would answer the door, and in fact prayed that he didn't (not with how he welcomed people!). She hadn't seen her brother since he had attacked their father because of a cookie. She shook her head. Ichi-nii was getting weirder by the day. Before it had seemed like everything pissed him off. Now it was like he was hiding something. In fact, she was sure of it.

She heard the doorbell ring once more, and finally decided to get off the couch and answer the door. She made her way through the hallway and opened the door to find two strange men standing there.

_What the heck are they wearing?_ The young girl thought to herself as she glanced at the blond. He was wearing skin tight jeans and an "I'm with stupid" T-shirt that pointed towards his partner. The black-haired male had a tattoo on one side of his face that read "69" and was wearing a pink, floral print shirt and white pants with flip-flops.

"Uh, is this where Kurosaki Ichigo lives?" The black-haired male, or rather Shuuhei Hisagi, asked Karin. She stared. She had always observed that her brother hung around with the weirdest people. Keigo was a perfect example of someone who had been dropped as a child, but she hadn't known her brother was hanging around people that had such bad fashion sense. She may not have been an expert, but even she knew that both men in front of her looked ridiculous.

"He's not home," Karin replied. Izuru bowed his head. "He should be home soon though, I think. It's almost dinner time, if you guys want to wait for him," she suggested.

"If it's not a problem," Izuru mumbled, and Karin shook her head. She just wanted to get them off the streets before someone saw them. Both men stepped into the Kurosaki home and shut the door behind them. They stared around at the room. It was very different from the homes in Soul Society. They had never gotten a good look at the interior of a modern home. Karin stared at the two for a moment more before turning back to the TV.

"I think she might be on to us," Izuru whispered to Shuuhei as they stayed in the hallway.

"No she isn't. Rangiku said that this is what all the men are wearing; she probably thinks we're cool or something," Shuuhei disagreed with a casual shrug.

"I think she might be wrong. Also, why didn't we just look for his reiatsu rather than waiting at his house? It would be easier," Izuru suggested, and folded his arms over his chest.

"Because we know that he'll return here eventually. All we have to do is wait, and soon he'll be swooning in my arms." Shuuhei grinned, causing Izuru to frown.

"I thought we agreed we would share." Izuru narrowed his eyes at his partner in crime.

"Sorry, but once he walks through the door, it's every man for themselves," Shuuhei stated. Both were oblivious to Karin sitting nearby and being forced to hear their entire conversation. The poor eleven-year-old girl shook her head and tried to erase what she had heard from her mind. She swore, if she had nightmares that night she would kick her brother's ass!

**On the other side of Town…**

Orihime glanced down at the near-empty bag that had once been filled with cookies. Now, only one remained. She picked it up and looked at it. She still had a few more at home that she planned on passing out tomorrow, but for now she decided that she deserved to try one of the cookies. She had gotten an interesting reaction from everyone that had eaten them so far, so why not!

"Orihime! My dear Orihime, it's been so long!" She heard behind her. She turned and smiled as she was pulled into a hug.

"It is good to see you too, Hirako-san," Orihime greeted Shinji as he finally released her. Just feeling her large chest against his had made his day, especially since Hiyori had left him alone. This was turning out to be the best day ever! "How have you been?" she asked sweetly.

"I'm much better now that you are here," Shinji flirted. The orange-haired girl looked down at the cookie she was still holding in her hand. She had wanted to eat this one herself, but Shinji was such a good friend that she decided to offer it to him instead.

"I forgot, I made cookies and I thought maybe you would like one," she said, holding it out. Shinji took the cookie and kissed her hand.

"Since you made it, I'm sure it's delicious." Shinji smirked at her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder before taking a bite.

"How is it?" Orihime asked when Shinji scrunched up his face.

"Oh it's good, um, I think I've got to get back though. I'll see you around," Shinji told her, suddenly losing interest in the lovely woman at his side. Instead, he had a sudden urge to meet up with Ichigo.

Ichigo sighed with relief at getting away from the captains. Luckily, he had been able to slip away when Ukitake had started coughing and Rukia had insisted on taking him back to Soul Society. He also didn't have to worry about Shunsui because seconds after Rukia had taken her captain back, another gate had opened and a woman wearing glasses had come out and dragged the eighth captain back by his ponytail.

Ichigo ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He could still hear Zangetsu and Shirosaki fighting, which didn't help his situation. He was constantly aware that if they ever stopped they might pull him back into his inner world and try to molest him once more. He needed to find a way to reverse the potion's effects on his own since Urahara had been no help. Byakuya would think even lower of him (if it was possible) if he found out what he had done, and he didn't know how much more he could take of everyone trying to get into his pants. He hated not knowing who had eaten a cookie and who hadn't. Many of the people who had eaten the cookies so far had been his friends and people he respected. He didn't know what they would think of him after the spell was broken. Would they refuse to speak with him because they were embarrassed about their actions? Would they blame him and ban him from Soul Society?

"Ah, there you are!" Ichigo froze as a shadow loomed over him.

That voice … he had nightmares because of that voice!

"I was wondering where my star pupil was, and wanted to see how you've progressed!" Ichigo felt his eye twitch. Of all the people in the world who might have eaten those cookies, why _him_? Someone was definitely out to drive him insane, and this was the perfect person to drive him into the nuthouse!

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

You really think I'm going to allow all the good looking guys a piece of the strawberry? Gotta be fair with the not so fortunate! Also, all the requests people have given to chase after Ichigo will be done!

Thanks for reading, hope ya enjoyed, please review, and remember! The spirits are with you! Bwahahaha


	5. Trouble for Byakuya

Sorry its been a while since I've updated this, it's been such a hectic summer words can't describe it.

Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorite, and placed this story on story alert! *throws Ichi and Byakuya plushies to you all*

Also special thanks to **Panruru** for betaing this chapter (and teaching me about texting XD)

* * *

Rukia sighed as she stepped back into Karakura Town. Her captain was being treated in the fourth division and would remain there for the next two weeks. Luckily, his third seats would be taking care of him, which gave her the opportunity to return and find Ichigo. It had been funny at first, but now she had to admit that the cookies of doom were becoming a problem. She hadn't cared when it had just been Renji who was affected because that idiot was used to everything failing on him anyway, but when her captain was involved it became a different story. In any case, she really didn't want to see anyone else she cared about being affected in such a way.

"Oh, Kuchiki-san! I haven't seen you for a few days!" Orihime's voice rang out nearby, and Rukia turned to see the girl waving at her as she ran across the street, paying little mind to oncoming traffic. A sweat drop ran down the side of Rukia's head. That girl really was a danger to herself.

"Hi Orihime. How have you been?" she asked when the girl finally reached her and stopped to catch her breath. She really didn't have the time to listen to the girl babble on like she normally did, but she didn't want to be rude.

"I've been great, Kuchiki-san. Tatsuki and I hung out after school and I showed her how to make spaghetti with fish meatballs! Then we went over our homework; she said I got everything right, but I'm not too sure. Oh that reminds me, have I given you a cookie yet?" This caught Rukia's attention, and her gaze sharpened as the other girl dug through her school bag. Sure enough, Orihime pulled out a plastic bag full of cookies. Rukia's eyes widened and she had to take a step back.

_Cookies? No, it couldn't be…_ Rukia stared at Orihime, making the poor girl feel somewhat confused. _But Ichigo's cookies ended up in Soul Society … wait, didn't that idiot say he made them with Orihime?_ Though it shouldn't have been possible, Rukia's eyes got even wider. It was really beginning to worry Orihime.

"Kuchiki-san, are you alright? If you're allergic to nuts, there aren't any in these…" Orihime mumbled uncertainly, wondering why her friend looked as if she'd swallowed her tongue.

"Orihime, how many of those cookies have you passed around?" Rukia asked when she finally found her voice. This situation was turning out to be much worse than she'd expected. A few people chasing after Ichigo to get in his pants was hilarious, but a whole town was another story. The poor guy wouldn't be able to walk for years to come.

"Oh, um, well ... I passed them out around school, and a few people took them. I also gave some to a few people around town," Orihime said, frowning as she tried to recall everyone she had given cookies to.

"Did you see if they ate the cookies? How many did you have?" Rukia said tightly, just barely keeping her voice from rising. The orange-haired girl brought a finger to her chin in thought. There had been quite a few people, and she couldn't even remember who all she had given cookies to, let alone whether or not they had eaten them.

"Um, a lot," Orihime finally responded with a small smile. Rukia almost fainted. An urge to throttle the girl rose up in her, but she kept it restrained by repeatedly reminding herself that Orihime had no idea the cookies had contained a potion that would change people from normal human beings into maniacs lusting after Ichigo.

"Orihime, listen to me: those cookies, you made them with Ichigo, right?" she asked her friend, and watched as she nodded her head. "Well, they contain something that makes whoever eats them fall in love with Ichigo. That idiot wanted nii-sama to fall in love with him. It's a long story, but the only way for the curse to stop is if nii-sama sleeps with Ichigo." She stopped when the other girl turned red. Apparently, no one had told her that Ichigo was into men, and the idea of Ichigo and Byakuya sleeping together made her look quite embarrassed.

"How long has Kurosaki-kun been into … men?" Orihime asked politely, though she was having a hard time forming the words. She'd had so many dreams of Kurosaki-kun and herself settling down with kids and living happily ever after. Her head started to ache as she realized that it would never happen.

"For some time," Rukia said quietly, feeling a little bad for the other girl. She watched as Orihime bowed her head, and Rukia couldn't tell if the girl had tears in her eyes or not. "If you have any more cookies, could you get rid of them? We don't need anyone else lusting after Ichigo," Rukia told her as nicely as she could.

"I'm sorry," Orihime mumbled while folding her arms across her chest. She had never wanted to cause any more trouble for Kurosaki-kun than she already had, but she had ended up doing the opposite. There was only one thing to do. "If Kurosaki-kun and Kuchiki-san sleep together, that means the spell will break?" she asked, finally looking back up at Rukia.

"Yeah, everyone who has eaten a cookie will stop chasing him," the short, black-haired girl repeated. She suddenly had to take a step back as Orihime straightened up and pounded one fist into her palm.

"If it helps Kurosaki-kun, then we will do whatever it takes to get Kuchiki-san to sleep with him!" Orihime declared, much to Rukia's surprise. Was that girl even capable of staying depressed? Despite how down she'd been just a moment before, she was already bouncing with happiness again.

"I agree that something needs to be done, but it's going to take more than just us to get them together. Nii-sama refuses to show any interest in Ichigo, and Ichigo is being chased around town by every guy who crosses his path. I think the best thing to do right now is work on nii-sama," Rukia explained. The two girls were silent for a few moments, their brows furrowed in thought. Rukia already knew they couldn't go to Urahara for help since the evil blond shopkeeper was the cause of the problem. She couldn't ask anyone in her division or any of the captains either due to the chance they had eaten a cookie. That was when it hit her.

"I know just the people!"

* * *

Uryu unzipped his suitcase and began putting neatly folded clothing back into his dresser. Socks in the first drawer along with underwear and undershirts. Second drawer, the dress shirts he wore at school and when going anywhere in public with his father, which was rare but did happen on occasion. Lastly, pants in the bottom drawer, neatly laid across one another.

Uryu stared down at the bottom drawer with a frown. His pants weren't lining up properly. He tried rearranging the several pairs of grey, beige, and black pants (color coded, of course), but something still seemed off. He narrowed his eyes at the drawer before pulling out all of his pants and tossing them on the bed. Perhaps a good ironing would do the trick!

Uryu walked down the hallway of his father's apartment, enjoying the peace and quiet. His father had stopped by only briefly to drop off his bags before going back to work. Some people might have found that cold, but Uryu preferred it that way.

Just as he was about to enter the kitchen, he heard a loud slam from the front door. He sighed in irritation as whoever was at the door continued hitting it as if they were trying to break in. Given that hollows didn't generally knock and a burglar wouldn't make the effort, he had a pretty good idea of who it might be.

"Kurosaki, what are you doing?" Uryu asked, his eyes narrowing as he opened the door. The orange-haired teen didn't even bother answering him, and instead barged right in and shut the door behind him. "What is the meaning of this?" he demanded, feeling even more annoyed than he'd been ten seconds ago.

"It's a long story – you've just got to hide me!" Ichigo told the Quincy as he looked through the peek hole.

"WHERE ARE YOU? I MUST TEACH YOU OUR NEW ROUTINE! BWAHAHAHAHA!" Don Kanonji shouted as he ran through the hallway of Uryu's apartment building searching for his apprentice.

"Why is Mr. Kanonji searching for you?" Uryu asked as he folded his arms over his chest, trying to decide whether or not to throw the substitute shinigami back out into the hallway and let him fend for himself. It would get rid of Kurosaki and then the mad lunatic would go after him, and both problems would be gone.

"Believe me, you don't want to know." Ichigo shuddered as he heard the footsteps grow more distant, and leaned against the door with a sigh. That incredibly annoying man would haunt him in his dreams. When he'd first showed up, he'd started blabbing about some new technique that they had to do together. Ichigo had only been able to stare at him, dumbfounded, until the older man had declared they had to do it naked. That had been the last straw. He'd run as if Kenpachi were the one chasing him and made a beeline for the Ishida household, knowing the Quincy was supposed to be back. If not, then hopefully a hollow would eat Kanonji along the way. In a situation like this, he could tolerate a hollow or two.

"Last time I checked, Kanonji was running around town with a bunch of kids and you hadn't associated with him since the TV incident. What changed?" Uryu asked, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"Uh, you remember how I had a crush on Byakuya?" Ichigo asked, scratching the back of his head. It was no secret that he had a crush on the sixth division captain; everyone except Orihime knew about it. "Well, he's been turning me away every time I try to talk to him."

"What does your crush have to do with Kanonji?" Uryu asked, tapping his foot impatiently. The shinigami gave his friend an annoyed look before continuing.

"Urahara suggested I try using a potion that makes people fall in love with whoever made it," Ichigo continued, ignoring the weird look Uryu was giving him.

"You also have a crush on Kanonji?" Uryu asked, raising an eyebrow. He always tried not to be judgmental towards his friends, but the thought of Ichigo and Don Kanonji together was just too disturbing. Even worse, an image suddenly popped into his mind of what their kids would look like. Scowling afro rejects that would most likely take after Kanonji. He shuddered and thanked god that men couldn't have children. That was when Kurosaki grabbed a magazine resting on the coffee table and threw it at Ishida.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? He's like what's-his-face, the afro guy; no one wants him!" Ichigo snarled, and Uryu had to readjust his glasses since they had fallen down the bridge of his nose from being hit. "I made the cookies, but Byakuya didn't want him, and some other people ended up eating them instead," Ichigo muttered as he walked over and sat down at the small table, digging his fingers into his hair. This was a complete nightmare!

_Now that I think of it, I can see Renji and the captains eating the cookies, but how the hell did Kanonji get one? _he thought to himself. There was no way the cookies could have traveled from Soul Society to Karakura Town and been distributed so fast.

"Huh?" Ichigo blinked as he heard a beeping sound and something vibrating in his pants pocket. He dug through his pocket and pulled out his phone, flipping it open to find a text message from Mizuiro.

**Hey ichigo hows it going ;)**

Ichigo stared at the text for a long moment, then carefully slid his phone back into his pocket. "So now a bunch of horny men are after you?" Uryu asked, trying unsuccessfully to suppress a smirk. Ichigo glared at him and he was pretty sure he heard the other teen mutter 'bastard' under his breath, but it served the substitute right for trying to mess with other people's feelings towards him.

"Shut up," Ichigo growled, folding his arms over his chest.

"Honestly Kurosaki, you brought this on yourself. For one, you listened to Urahara-san, and I don't think you need me to tell you why that's a bad idea. Secondly, if Captain Kuchiki doesn't like you, let it go," Uryu said sensibly, much to Ichigo's annoyance. He'd known it was the wrong thing to do, but he had wanted the other man for so long only to be rejected at every turn. Now the only way to stop everyone wanting to get in his pants was to actually get Byakuya to sleep with him, and the chances of that were about the same as the chances of Uryu declaring that shinigami were better than Quincy's: it just wasn't going to happen.

His phone went off again, distracted him from Uryu's scolding, and he pulled it out once more and glanced down.

**Im hopin ur alrite babe. I was thinkn u+me shld go 2 a movie b4 mayb coming back 2 my plc? My rents r outa town so we cn stay up all nite n do watever we want ^_~ **

Ichigo stared at Mizuiro's second text message for a few seconds before shuddering and putting his phone away again. He liked his short, black-haired friend, liked him much better than Keigo, in fact, but not in that way. Never in _that_ way!

A sudden knock drew the attention of both teens towards the door. Ichigo glanced over at Uryu, who sighed before walking over to the door to answer it. There was a good chance it wasn't Kanonji this time since they had heard the moron outside a few moments ago, still shouting that he needed his sidekick.

Uryu opened the door for the second time that day with an expression even more irritable than the one he'd worn the first time, and was immediately blown against the doorway as a small figure darted inside.

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW THE NERD HAD KIDNAPPED YOU!" Keigo shouted as he latched himself onto Ichigo and started hugging the orange-haired teen for all he was worth. Ichigo tried in vain to pry him off. Seriously, this was ridiculous!

"Get off, Keigo!" Ichigo growled, shoving the brown-haired teen's face away when he tried to kiss him. He swore that if he felt the other's lips on him even for a second, he was going to take him to Hueco Mundo and let the hollows feed on him.

"BUT ICHIGO, I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU! WE NEVER HANG OUT ANYMORE! WE'RE BUDS, AREN'T WE?" Keigo hugged Ichigo's head. Ichigo's eye twitched, and he decided that he'd finally had enough. He shoved Keigo off, apathetic to the way the brown-haired boy hit the ground with a thud and smacked the back of his head. It didn't seem to affect him much, anyway, nor did it lower his voice.

"If you keep shouting and clinging to me, then NO!" Ichigo yelled, and backed away when Keigo wrapped his arms around Ichigo's leg and began rubbing his cheek against it.

Uryu watched the display with disbelief. Sure, Keigo was usually pretty energetic (he wouldn't be Keigo if he wasn't), but when the teen sat up and appeared to start grinding himself against Ichigo leg, he felt his stomach drop. Apparently, this situation was much worse than he'd thought.

"Get the fuck off!" Ichigo yelled, trying desperately to get Keigo to stop humping his leg. He knew that when this was all over he'd probably laugh about it, but he also knew that no matter how many showers he took his leg would always feel violated.

"NO YOU'LL RUN AWAY AGAIN! WE WERE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER, ICHIGO! YOU'LL SEE IN TIME I AM YOUR TRUE LOVE!" Keigo screamed, and Ichigo's eyes widened when his soon-to-be ex-friend puckered up and started trying to kiss his leg. That was the last straw!

Ichigo did what he should have done the moment Keigo flew into the room: he pulled out his shinigami badge and pressed it to his chest, letting his body fall to the floor.

"Ichigo?" Keigo poked the motionless body. His hands flew to his head and he let out a piercing scream. "OH MY GOD, I'VE KILLED ICHIGO WITH MY LOVE!" Keigo cried over Ichigo's body.

"He's your problem now." Ichigo gave Uryu an evil smirk before hopping out the window, leaving a glaring Quincy in his wake.

Unfortunately, there wasn't and never would be any reasoning with Keigo. The boy cried over Ichigo for forty-five minutes before Uryu finally dragged him by his hair and threw him out into the hallway. "Damn you, Kurosaki," he muttered under his breath, then glanced over at the clock. His father would be home soon and he hadn't even started cleaning or cooking dinner yet. Not only that, but Ichigo's body was still lying in the middle of their living room.

Uryu sighed once more as he lifted the shinigami's body and wrapped one of its arms around his shoulders. Thoughts of getting revenge filled his mind. Oh, the horrible things he could do to Kurosaki's wardrobe... But then again, revenge had already been served, hadn't it? Just the fact that the idiot had made the cookies that were now causing a bunch of horny men to chase him across town was a punishment that he could never hope to top. Perhaps it would be best to leave Kurosaki to his own demise.

"Damnit, how is he so heavy?" Uryu muttered as he dragged the body towards his bedroom. He'd made it halfway when the rug slipped underneath his feet and caused the both of them to topple over.

Uryu groaned when he felt Kurosaki's body land on top of him. It was just like Kurosaki to bring disaster wherever he went and leave others to suffer for his actions.

"Uryu?"

He froze and buried his face into the floor. Why? Why, of all times, did his father have to walk in the door when his friend on top of him?

"Father, I can explain!" Uryu glanced to the side and felt Ichigo's body being lifted off of him.

"There is no need. I will make sure he is punished for whatever he has done to you!" Ryūken Ishida promised in an unusually soft tone. Uryu sat up, rubbing his head. He must have fallen harder than he'd thought, because it sounded like his father was actually being nice towards him. Come to think of it, thought, his father often made snide remarks about Isshin Kurosaki, so perhaps he had something against the other doctor.

"I'm alri-" Uryu started, but he never finished the sentence because when he looked up he discovered his father cuddling Ichigo's body. His mouth hung open in disbelief. HIS FATHER ATE A COOKIE TOO! _Kurosaki, you will pay for this!_ he thought as he watched Ryūken kiss Ichigo's cheek, showing him more affection than he had done with Uryu in his entire life. Yes, he was going to pay dearly for this!

Meanwhile, Ichigo continued running as fast as he could. Thinking back on the day's events, he shut his eyes and shook his head. Why the hell had he listened to Urahara? Uryu was right; the man was always hiding something. Heck, he was living proof of it. He'd wanted to become a shinigami, not to gain a hollow!

_**That hurts, King. **_Ichigo groaned when he heard his hollow speak. The last thing he needed at the moment was to get pulled into his inner world to be molested by his hollow and zanpakutou.

**I do not blame him; you are quite annoying.** Ichigo frowned when he heard a new voice, one that resembled Zangetsu's but sounded younger.

"Who the fuck is that?" Ichigo asked, and didn't have to be in his inner world to know that his hollow was grinning at him. The sick bastard was probably running his tongue over his lips.

_**If you want to know, why don't you come in here and find out? **_

He chose to ignore the comment. As much as he wanted to know why some new guy was in his head (maybe Zangetsu invited some family over?), he wasn't desperate enough to go into his inner world again.

**That's right, you have not met me yet. I am Tensa Zangetsu. Perhaps if you entered this world I could show you a few new techniques you can use with your bankai. **Ichigo rolled his eyes. Great, even his bankai zanpakutou spirit was a pervert.

_**Hey, you're not touching my King, you Ulquiorra wannabe! **_Ichigo heard his hollow yell, and he decided it might be best to just ignore them. As long as they stayed focused on each other, they'd tire themselves out soon enough.

"Oh my god! Berry-tan! What are you doing here?" Mashiro Kuna squealed, jumping up and down before running over to him. "I can't remember the last time you visited! We were just talking about you (Shinji especially) before I left to get dinner. We thought you forgot about us!" Mashiro told him excitedly. Perhaps this would be a good hideout. The vizards rarely communicated with anyone from Soul Society, and their base of operations was protected by Hachi's barrier so no one else would be able to detect him.

Perfect.

**Orihime's Apartment 7:42 pm**

"So you see our situation. We need to get Ichigo and nii-sama together or every male that has eaten a cookie will be chasing after Ichigo. We need to get nii-sama to fall in love with Ichigo, but he's too proud to admit he has feelings like that," Rukia explained, standing in the living room of Orihime's apartment in front of the only people that could possibly help them. Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted Orihime passing out juice boxes. In truth, she'd never have turned to them if there had been any other way, knowing how evil and sadistic they could be. Most people cowered in their presence and their leader was ruthless, but they were desperate and there were no other options.

"Will you help us?" Rukia asked, looking up at them beseechingly.

"It will not be cheap, especially since we are making this decision without our leader," murmured a woman with black hair tied up in a bun. She held a notepad in which she had been taking notes during the entire meeting. Behind her, the rest of her group remained quiet while waiting for their second-in-command to make her decision.

"Name your price," Rukia told the older woman, folding her arms resolutely. Orihime glanced over at her quietly, uncertain how to deal with these hoodlums.

"We want enough pictures of Captain Kuchiki and Kurosaki-san together to make next year's calendar. They must be kissing in at least one, and in another they must be shirtless!" the second-in-command (aka Nanao Ise) demanded to cheers from the other girls in the room. Rukia sighed and looked over at Orihime, who was blushing profusely. It figured that the Women's Shinigami Association would want something perverted.

"It's a deal!" Rukia said. She held out her hand and shook Nanao's to seal the agreement.

"Oh, Captain Kuchiki and Kurosaki-kun kissing! We must have that picture blown up for our meeting hall!" Rangiku gushed as she thought of the two men kissing and doing much more.

"I do not agree with this! It is not our place to get involved with Captain Kuchiki's love life," Soi Fon protested, folding her arms over her chest. The other girls stared at her as if she was insane.

"That's too bad, Soi Fon," Yoruichi commented from the window, wearing a tight black shirt and pants that almost gave Soi Fon a nosebleed. "I was really hoping you would help us. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to team up with someone else here." Yoruichi sighed and looked away in disappointment.

"No, I shall help you Yoruichi-sama! If it is important to you, then I shall help get Captain Kuchiki and the substitute shinigami together even if it's the last thing I do!" Soi Fon vowed, gazing at her mentor adoringly.

Yoruichi turned towards Rukia and winked. They'd get Byakuya to fall in love with Ichigo for sure!

* * *

A/N: I don't know who I feel worse for, Ichigo or Byakuya. I've decided to section this story off so it will be a little more in order and not random people showing up (even though it is fun). So, the next group, as seen in the chapter, will be Ichigo vs the Vizards, then we shall be going to Hueco Mundo, and then to Soul Society.

Thanks for reading, hope ya enjoyed, and please review!


	6. The Vizard Experience

I have a feeling people are going to be pissed off with me at the end of this chapter :(

Thank you SOOOO much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! *hugs* thank you so much, I really appreciate the feedback (and how to make Ichigo's life even more unbearable XD)

Special thanks to ever awesome **Panruru** for betaing this chapter

**Warning: language and chapter contains sexual situations that may not be appropriate for younger viewers**

* * *

Ichigo sighed in relief when Mashiro opened the door to the vizards' hideout. Finally, he was safe from all those crazed manics who wanted a piece of his ass. He would never be able to look at Keigo again without wanting to punch him in the face after the way he'd violated his leg (which actually wasn't all that different from usual, but still. There was a line.) He'd ended up having to turn off his phone after his inbox had been flooded by text messages from Mizuiro, who was still trying to ask him out. When he'd started asking about phone sex, Ichigo had decided he'd had enough. He was thankful that the vizards were well hidden enough that neither his friends nor his stalkers would be able to find him there.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN, BALDY?" a high pitch scream startled him an instant before a foot collided with his face and sent him crashing into the wall. He groaned as he picked himself up, and glared at the blonde devil who had kicked him and was now in the process of taking off her sandal to beat him senseless.

"What the hell's your problem?" Ichigo growled. He got to his feet and blocked the sandal just before it would have hit him. Unfortunately, he wasn't fast enough to stop her from following it up by slapping him across the face.

"You never come here anymore! We teach you how to control your inner hollow and then you ditch us?" Hiyori screamed, and would have continued if Ichigo hadn't kicked her in the side. Normally he would never hurt a girl, but Hiyori was an exception to that rule. And Rukia when she was being evil. And Tatsuki when she beat him up. And Nel when she tried to glomp him to death … okay, so it depended on the situation, and this one called for it.

"Ah, Ichigo! It's nice to see you again," Rose greeted with a charming smile from his spot on the couch. "Where have you been? It's been so long since we've seen you," he added, standing up and slowly approached the teen, who quickly ducked before Hiyori could tackle him.

"Uh, been busy with this and that. You know, with the war coming up and everything..." Ichigo scratched the back of his neck and an idea came to him. "Hey, have you guys ever had a problem getting someone to go on a date with you?" he asked just as Love came into the room and waved to the youngest vizard.

"Hm, not really. They usually say yes the first time I ask; if not, I usually move on." Love chuckled and slapped Ichigo on the back. This didn't seem help the teen, however, and only served to make him more depressed. He'd figured that Love and Rose had experience picking people up and had been hoping for some advice on how to get Byakuya to agree to go out with him. _Crap, I'm going to be chased for the rest of my life. Then I'll die and go to Soul Society and be chased for the rest of my afterlife, _he thought, sulking.

"Well, there is one person I like at the moment..." the blond man remarked, moving closer to Ichigo. "...and I was wondering if that special someone would like to accompany to dinner before we finish the romantic night making out," he suggested, and Ichigo's eyes widened when Rose started invading his personal space.

"Uh, I think I'll be going," Ichigo said, but Rose wrapped an around his waist to bring him closer.

"Shh, we have not yet even begun our journey," he whispered. Despite himself, Ichigo was suddenly glad that Hiyori had been betrayed and kicked out of Soul Society along with the rest of the vizards. The little blonde monkey came flying through the air, and rather than hitting Ichigo she kicked Rose in the head. The older man fell to the ground, unconscious.

"This isn't finished!" Hiyori yelled at Ichigo. She charged at him, only to be grabbed from behind by Love and lifted up into the air. The sight of the small girl's legs kicking out and her arms swinging futilely was quite amusing – or at least would have been if the vizards hadn't eaten the damn cookies!

_Shit, I've got to get out of here! _he thought to himself, and moved towards the door. He knew that danger lay on the other side of it, but he thought it better to risk going back out into the open than staying in an enclosed space with these maniacs.

"Ichigo." He stopped with his hand on the door handle and turned to Lisa, who had just entered the room with a bored expression on her face and a manga in one hand. She didn't bother looking up at him, and kept her eyes glued to the pages as she walked across the room to sit on the couch. "Shinji wants to talk to you. He said something about cookies and he didn't sound happy," she told him, then went back to reading her manga.

Ichigo bit his lip, trying to decide whether it was better to venture across the vizards' hideout to see what Shinji wanted or to leave right away before any other hormonal males tried to pounce on him. He glanced down at Rose. The man was still unconscious, and Love was probably going to be busy trying to control Hiyori for a good while. That, at least, took two out of the equation, and it sounded like Shinji was serious. Maybe he hadn't eaten any of the cookies? If so, he might be willing to help Ichigo with his problem. Okay, that last one was doubtful, but he really needed some allies that weren't trying to get into his pants.

He made his way across the room and down the hall, towards the last door which he knew led to Shinji's office. He started to knock, but when his hand hit the door it slowly opened.

"Shinji?" Ichigo called as he entered the pitch black room. He was about to look for a light switch when the ex-captain finally spoke up.

"Leave the lights off and close the door. I want to speak with you about the problem that's going on in Karakura Town," Shinji said, his figure outlined in the darkness when he moved.

Ichigo complied and shut the door behind him, tripping over several things on the floor before he finally found a chair sitting in front of the older man's desk. "You know about that?" Ichigo asked, almost hopefully. At least if he had Shinji on his side to beat off anyone that came near him, he might stand a chance of keeping his virginity until he could resolve his little … well, major problem.

"Please." Shinji stood and moved around the desk. "It's obvious. Just walking down the street, I kept hearing people asking where you were. Then Love came home with a bag of cookies and suddenly the other vizards were talking about you too," he said, placing a hand on the desk.

"Shit. Listen, long story short, I wanted someone to fall in love with me so I went to Hat and Clogs–" Shinji snorted. "–and asked him for help, and he gave me this potion that was supposed to make this guy fall in love with me. I put it in some cookies, but he never got it and everyone else did!" he explained the best he could, having no desire to go into detail. He was getting tired of dealing with this mess, and he just wanted it all to end. Unfortunately, it didn't look like that was going to happen anytime soon.

"That does explain a few things," Shinji commented. He moved closer to Ichigo, and the teen squinted in the dark. He didn't understand why the older man couldn't just turn the damn light on. "Why would you go to Urahara, though? I'd think that you of all people would know better than to go to him," he said, which was quite unhelpful and only ticked the teen off. So sue him; he'd been desperate and in heartache.

"Why did you want the potion in the first place?" the older vizard asked. Ichigo bowed his head and fidgeted with his hakama.

"Like I said, I had a crush on someone. Byakuya. And he rejected me," Ichigo revealed, feeling like a complete loser. Of all the guys in the world he could have fallen in love with, why had he picked the one who had no heart? "I've been trying to talk to him for months, but he always sends me away. Mostly, he says stuff about how I'm not a real shinigami and I shouldn't be in Seireitei. Now I can't break this curse until he sleeps with me, which is never going to happen." He sighed hopelessly, then jumped a little when he felt Shinji's hand on his leg.

"The Kuchiki's have always had a stick up their asses, Byakuya especially. At least his grandfather had a sense of humor. Byakuya did too before he was a captain, actually," Shinji told the younger vizard, who looked up in the darkness with surprise. "He used to be a little ball of fire. He kind of reminded me of you, to be honest, especially when Yoruichi-san was around. She loved to torment him."

Ichigo smiled softly, wishing he could have met that Byakuya. It was hard to imagine the cold noble behaving that way, and he wished there were pictures. Of course, that had been before his wife died and his personality with her. He'd hoped he could try to change that, but the chances of Byakuya letting him were slim to none.

"You should find someone else," Shinji said, removing his hand from Ichigo's leg. "Someone who'll appreciate you and take care of you. Not to mention..." he felt a large, heavy lump plop onto his lap. "...someone who will put out," he whispered into Ichigo's ear, and licked the lobe.

At this, the teen freaked and grabbed Shinji by the shirt – or at least he would have had there been a shirt to grab.

Bare chest–

Bare back–

_(gasp)_

Bare legs and thighs–

"WHAT THE FUCK SHINJI!" Ichigo threw the naked man off of him and onto the floor. He stood and felt blindly around Shinji's desk until he found a small lamp. He turned it on, and immediately regretted it. "CRAP, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" he yelled, and covered his eyes at the sight of Shinji picking his naked form off the floor. Worst of all, the man was hard!

"I can't hide my feelings anymore; we were meant to be!" Shinji opened his arms and began approaching Ichigo, his cock up and happy to see the teen as well.

"BACK THE FUCK OFF!" Ichigo lowered his hands and reached for his zanpakutou. "I swear to god Shinji, if you come near me I will chop your dick off and make you eat it!" he warned, but the older vizard didn't seem threatened in the least.

"Actually, I'd rather be shoving it up your–" Shinji began before he had to dodge out of the way to avoid being dismembered by Zangetsu.

"If you try to finish that sentence, I will kill you! I have enough mental scars already from everyone else, and this is just one more thing that's going to haunt me for the rest of my life!" he shouted, and took a step back as Shinji came closer. Despite his threats, he really didn't want to kill the other man. He liked Shinji, or at least he had before this incident. Besides, he was sure the blond still had a few things to teach him about his vizard powers.

_Well, there's always Lisa,_ he thought, swinging at Shinji again when the man got closer.

"Ichigo, come on now. Let's be adults here. Why don't you take your clothes off and stand in front of the desk?" Shinji appealed to him, approaching the teen with caution.

"You put some fucking clothes on before I castrate you!" Ichigo warned. He cringed when he noticed that the older man was getting even more turned on, and pre-cum was dripping from his cock. _I'm going to be sick!_ he thought, feeling bile rise in his throat.

"Listen, I–" Shinji started, but was cut off when someone struck him in the back of the head. Ichigo had never been so glad to see someone fall unconscious in his life. Sure, he felt bad that it had had to come to this, but at least he didn't have to look at Shinji's naked body anymore.

"So Mashiro was right, you are here." Ichigo froze at the deadly grin on Kensei's face as the silver haired vizard took a step towards him.

_Shit, this is bad,_ Ichigo thought to himself before ducking around Kensei. He ran towards the door, but was tackled to the floor when it was still a couple feet away.

"You're not going anywhere, Berry!" Kensei whispered into his ear. "You're in my house now."

In the living room, Lisa yawned as she glanced over at Hiyori. The other vizard was sitting with her arms and legs crossed, pouting while Love helped Rose into a chair and gave him an ice pack. "Did you hear someone yelling?" Mashiro asked her as she peeked her head out from behind the fridge door.

"It's probably just your imagination," Lisa dismissed, but just then they all heard someone yelling down the hall. A loud crash soon followed. However, no one moved from their spots, nor did any of them so much as quirk an eyebrow.

"Take it off!"

"Get off me!"

"Was that Berry-tan and Kensei?" Mashiro asked, shutting the refrigerator just as Hachi came through the front door with dinner. "Yay! What did you bring!" she asked, completely forgetting about the cries coming from the hallway.

"Oh, I stopped at a restaurant and picked up something special since you said that Ichigo was coming over," Hachi told them, and placed some large bags of food on the counter.

"GET BACK HERE!"

"FUCK NO, YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!" Ichigo yelled as he ran into the room, his haori torn enough to partially expose his chest. His obi was undone and he was doing his best to keep his hakama up after it had been partially pulled down.

"Oh my, Ichigo-san, are you alright?" Hachi asked, but the teen ignored him. He knew he should feel bad about not saying hello to the very nice and polite man, but with a sex-crazed Kensei on his tail it wasn't worth it. He'd apologize later. However, this wasn't good enough for Hachi. A golden barrier stopped Ichigo in his tracks, luckily leaving Kensei on the outside.

"Hey, let me in there!" Kensei shouted at Hachi, who was the only one in the barrier other than Ichigo. Though he was relieved to be safe from Kensei, Ichigo felt slightly frustrated. The front door was right in front of him, but he couldn't leave. Meanwhile, was trapped in a house with a bunch of maniacs after him. Well, not really anymore; most of the vizards were stuffing their faces with the food Hachi had brought home. Even Kensei had calmed down a bit and was stuffing his face with rice while he watched the berry.

"I apologize for my friend's rude behavior." Hachi bowed his head and Ichigo stared at him, wide-eyed with panic. Hachi seemed okay, but it was becoming hard for him to trust anyone. Hell, he had trusted Shinji before he'd sat his naked ass down in his lap.

_I'll have to burn these clothes,_ he noted to himself. Hachi reached for the top button of his shirt and Ichigo's mouth dropped open. Whether from shock or disgust, he didn't even know anymore. All he knew was that when Hachi took his shirt off, a little part of him died inside. There was no way he was going to lose his virginity to Hachi. He liked the man, but not – _never _– in _that _way!

"I suppose we should make this fast ... or do you like it slow? I assume you will be on the bottom." The bile that had been sitting in the back of Ichigo's throat finally came up and he doubled over slightly as he vomited, then quickly grabbed Zangetsu and sliced through the barrier. Luckily, nothing else happened to stop him from reaching the exit and he was soon running for his life.

_What did I do to deserve this? Is Rukia's sister haunting me from beyond the grave because I'm going after Byakuya? I swear I'll never fall in love with another man as long as I live so long as I don't have to see anything like that again!_ he swore to himself. He peeked over his shoulder and found that no one was following him, thank god! He didn't know how he would react when he saw the vizards again. Hachi asking if he was a bottom ... he winced and felt the bile rise up again. Then there was Kensei, who'd almost got him completely naked and managed to grope his ass before he'd kicked the bastard in the face. And worst of all, Shinji's naked body with his weeping cock wagging between his legs. He was going to have nightmares for the rest of his life!

"Hey, Ichigo!" a shinigami with an afro jumped in front of him, waving cheerfully. For the life of him, Ichigo couldn't remember his name; nor did he care to. The shinigami was in the way and needed to move!

"I was wondering if you–" afro shinigami started to ask before Ichigo punched him in the face.

_I don't care how nice he is, I'm not putting up with this shit anymore! _he thought to himself, then froze when he saw the most terrifying thing he'd ever seen in his life. "Fuck no," Ichigo whimpered at the sight of a laughing Kenpachi racing at him with his small lieutenant waving from his shoulder. "Can this day get any worse?" Ichigo took a step back, seriously considering admitting himself to a psyche ward. Then again, the people there would probably molest him too!

"Don't worry." He jumped when a hand wrapped around his waist and he was pulled into a thin chest. He peeked over his shoulder and felt his eye twitch and his throat grow dry. "It won't," Ulquiorra finished, dragging Ichigo through a garganta and closing it before the eleventh division captain could catch the berry he'd been searching for all day.

"Son of a–"

"Kenny! You just missed Ichi!" Yachiru pointed at the empty air Ichigo'd disappeared into, and watched as Kenpachi had a fit and smashed the side of the building he was standing next to.

"Ya think? Damn arrancar. He's mine!" Kenpachi snarled. He turned and started walking back down the street. An idea was forming in his mind: he could smash that clown face, Mayuri, until he opened a garganta so he could go after his berry again. _Perfect_. He grinned and took off once more.

"Hey, I think my nose is broken!" afro shinigami shouted as he raced by and hit him in the face again. That weakling wasn't worth it. He couldn't give him the fight he desired, not like Ichigo. Kenpachi licked his lips, savoring the thought of the hot battle the two of them would have once he caught him.

**6th** **Division**

Captain Byakuya Kuchiki sat at his desk doing paperwork, as usual. The load had increased due to his lieutenant's supposed mission to Karakura Town. Of course, it was obvious that the redheaded baboon had actually just gone there to visit his sister and the substitute shinigami. That was where his lieutenant always ran off to. And every time he left, Byakuya had to do his paperwork to ensure it was turned in on time. Abarai was beginning to turn into a disgrace, and other officers had begun following in his footsteps. More and more had been slacking off, and it didn't help that Abarai had been dragged in only hours ago by the third and ninth lieutenants, who'd found him tied up without a shirt. Byakuya had chosen to stay in his office rather than see his lieutenant's condition firsthand.

When someone knocked on his door he ignored it, continuing to fill out reports on each of his officers and their progress. The knocking continued, however, and after a few seconds his eyes shifted towards the door in annoyance. "Come in," he said reluctantly, loudly enough for the person outside to hear. This interruption had better be something important such as a report on the progress on the war, the next captain's meeting, or urgent matters pertaining to his division. Unfortunately, he was to be disappointed.

"Oh, hello Captain Kuchiki." Nanao, the eighth division lieutenant, bowed her head along with Nemu, the twelfth division lieutenant, and Isane, the fourth division lieutenant, followed suit. "We were ordered by the Captain Commander to take this survey to each of the captains. We need to fill them out and return them by tomorrow morning," she told him, and raised her head to see that the captain didn't look very amused.

"Leave it on my desk; I will fill it out later and hand it to him myself." Byakuya looked back down and continued working on his reports. He couldn't recall the Captain Commander every issuing any surveys in his entire time being captain. However, if it had been issued by the head general then he would do as commanded.

"Actually, we can't leave it here because we were given the responsibility of returning all the surveys." Isane patted herself on the back for thinking so quickly even though she was sweating bullets just from being in the same room as the majestic captain. "You see, we have to ask you the questions and then you sign your name at the end confirming that you participated in the survey," she said quickly, uncertain if she had remembered everything she'd planned to say. The captain looked up from his work but none of the women could tell if he'd bought it.

"Very well, but make it quick." Byakuya put his pen down and the three girls slowly walked to his desk, uncertain if they should take a seat. If things went wrong, they'd need to leave quickly before he could draw his sword.

"Thank you, Captain." Nanao looked down at her clipboard and glanced over the questions. Might as well get it over with, she thought, though she wondered how long it would take before the captain caught on. "At what age did you know you wanted to be a captain?" she asked. She looked up at him and frowned uneasily. He stared back expressionlessly, not even batting an eyelash.

"The Captain Commander should already know the answer to that. The noble Kuchiki family has always been in charge of the sixth division," Byakuya muttered, and watched as Nanao began writing the answer down.

"Sorry, but we have to ask everyone this. Not all the captains were born to their station." She coughed, trying to regain her composure. When she looked down at the next question she paled. Why had they put that on the survey? It must have been Rangiku who'd added it, and there was no way she was going to ask it. "Isane, why don't you ask the next question?" she passed the clipboard to the fourth division lieutenant.

"Have you ever been married, and how long did it last?" A blush formed on the lieutenant's cheeks and she refused to look up. _Please let us get out of here alive!_ she prayed to herself.

"I was married to Hisana until she died," Byakuya answered quietly, and turned to look at the picture of his late wife that sat on his desk

Isane shot a quick glance at Nanao, wondering why they'd put such a question on the survey. They were trying to get Byakuya to fall for Ichigo; the last thing they needed was for him to go back into mourning over his dead wife. She looked back down at the questions and really wondered who'd made up the survey.

Question 3: Was it you or your spouse's fault that your marriage ended? _This is a suicide mission. There's no way I'm asking him that!_ the silver haired woman thought, skipping down the list of questions. "Um, what is your favorite color? Orange, red, black, or white?" she asked, hoping to ease the tension.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow at the three women. He was beginning to wonder if the Captain Commander wasn't extremely bored in the first division. Or, more likely, he hadn't issued this survey at all. "None of them; I prefer blue," he replied. Isane looked down and tapped her pen against the paper. That wasn't really the answer she'd been looking for, so she scratched the question off the list. She bit her lip as she skipped down to the next one, and quickly handed the survey over to Nemu.

The twelfth division lieutenant looked down at the survey emotionlessly and began reading off the next question. "In a sexual relationship with a man, would you be willing to be the uke?" she asked. Byakuya stared at the girl, his eyes widening slightly.

"Excuse me?" he asked in a low tone that made the other two girls gulp.

"Are you a seme or an uke?" Nemu repeated.

"Go to the next question, go to the next question," Nanao whispered urgently.

"Which do you prefer…" Nemu began reading before Nanao put her hand over the paper and directed the girl to the question under it. The captain would kill them if that question was asked.

"If you were to take someone on a date, where would you take them?" Nemu asked, and the girls felt like backing away when the captain glared at them.

"Next question," he muttered dangerously. The girls nervously eyed his hands and noted how close they were to his zanpakutou.

"Is sex important on the first date?" Isane turned away, blushing profusely. They were all lucky to even be alive. She wondered if the captain wasn't just toying with them before he murdered them, or if this was an "I'll get you later" type of deal.

"I refuse to answer that," Byakuya replied, irritation showing in his normally calm demeanor.

Nemu unclipped a photo from the clipboard, bravely approaching the captain's desk and setting it down. Byakuya glanced down to see a photo of Ichigo Kurosaki wearing nothing but a pair of dark jeans, eating a popsicle. Any normal man or woman would have drooled looking at the photo; however, Byakuya simply stared down at it expressionlessly.

"...Would you tap that?" Nemu finally asked, and that was the last straw. Byakuya stood, his hand resting on the hilt of his zanpakutou.

"RUN!" Isane yelled, and the three girls ran for the door before he could unsheathe his sword and slice them to bits.

Byakuya glanced at the door with irritation and stepped away from his desk to shut it. He could never understand why lieutenants kept getting more and more incompetent with each new one promoted. He prayed for the safety of the Gotei 13 that none of them ever became captains.

He made his way back to his desk and tilted his head as he looked down at the photo of Kurosaki. He lifted his eyes, looked towards the window, and then back to the door, before lifting the photo and sliding it into his pocket.

* * *

A/N: So, we are finally going to Hueco Mundo and the arrancars are much worse than the others. I am sure a lot of people are happy since a lot of requests were for the arrancars to…

* * *

"Hey, put me down!" Ichigo yelled as he tried to break free of Ulquiorra's hold. He was beginning to think it would have been better to take his chances with Kenpachi since the espada would probably be even more aggressive than the vizards.

"Aizen-sama wishes for your presence in Las Noches. However, I believe we should make a stop in my bedroom so I can prepare you," Ulquiorra stated. Ichigo froze. He didn't even want to know what the espada meant by 'prepared.' It almost sounded like he was going to eat him; however, thoughts of a different nature were racing through his mind. Ones in which Ulquiorra was throwing him onto a bed and stripping them both of their clothing before…

_Okay, that's enough. _He gave himself a mental kick before the scenario in his mind could play out any further.

"There he is!" Ichigo shook himself out of his stupor and glared up at the sixth espada, Grimmjow. "Hand him over!" Grimmjow growled as he approached him.

"No. Aizen-sama said I should bring him, and I am bringing him." Ichigo stared up at Ulquiorra. He had never heard the fourth espada sound so childish, even if he was still speaking in his usual monotone voice.

"Like I fucking care. He's mine!" Grimmjow lunged at Ulquiorra, who dropped Ichigo in favor of drawing his zanpakutou to defend himself. "The berry is mine! I laid my claim on him a long time ago!" he shouted as he swung his blade.

"I saw him before you did, trash. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even have known about him," Ulquiorra retorted, and blocked the other's blade.

"HEY, LET ME GO!" Both stopped in the middle of their battle and turned to see Ichigo being dragged off by several different people who were holding him tightly against them.

"What the fuck! He's–" Grimmjow took a step forward, but Ulquiorra put a hand out in front of him. They watched as their berry disappeared along with the other people. "Why did you fucking stop me?" he snarled at the fourth espada.

"There is nothing we can do for now. There will be no stopping them until they have completed their idiotic episodes that lead to nowhere," Ulquiorra sighed, and began walking off in the direction of Las Noches.

"What do you mean?" Grimmjow asked, his eyes still on the spot where Ichigo had disappeared.

"He is in the hands of the Fillers now," Ulquiorra replied.

**We will return to Ichigo's trials in Hueco Mundo another time, for now we are to look into another adventure that is happening, one that everyone dreads. The Filler Chapter**


End file.
